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    Xin: Heart-Mind

Yanling’s Saga

Since I left Beijing in 1985 where I was born and lived, it has changed beyond recognition. China has changed so much, giving more freedom to people and going toward more technologies and modern science. I used the words “modern science” because I hope more Chinese people realize that their ancient wisdom is an advanced science of human being and nature. I wish the Chinese would retain their ancient philosophy of Daoism, Buddhism, and Confucianism, which harmoniously merge to have nourished and educated a humble and hard-working nation. The ancients left us lots of information about the most powerful and vital energy, qi (chi, ki).

These thoughts came to me two years after I arrived America and finished graduate school at Oregon State University (OSU). Before coming to the United States (US), I was a busy teacher, a mother of two young children, and a wife whose faraway husband came home only a couple of times a year. My brain then was filled with communist education, mixed with my own education of Confucianism and Daoism, and also complicated with my growing pain and vague doubts about communism. I had sensed that there was something wrong with the China communist teaching and ruling.  I debated with my Professor Wood the first quarter I was at OSU, that “wars are either about justice and injustice; there should a war if it is justice….” Gradually in the US I began growing up, at the age of 39, and I began to see the great side of Mao Zedong along with his horrible mistakes.

I came to America solely for freedom; and I found it—spiritually. This land offers plenty of space for individual choices that I used to fight so hard to gain when I was in China. In this land I have met many people who are compassionate about humanity and care about the world. I also have met many who are confused about money and freedom. It took me two years to begin to see Americans’ extreme dependence on technologies and on others to take care of their own health, which led me to see the essence in my Chinese culture. All of that information in classic Chinese books that I had read and experienced began to stream into my mind. I suddenly realized that it was a science of humans and nature, a treasure house of wisdom that can be applied to all times and all people!

The true stories of the Chinese sages and their writings all indicated that beyond human knowledge and findings, outside of the universe we now know, there is still a Great Void, which modern scientists cannot yet discover. This is the same conclusion of both Daoism and Buddhism. I began my extensive study and research on Daoism, Buddhism, and Confucianism looking for self-help tools. I returned to qigong practice and taiji that I had dropped in early years when I was too busy. The deeper I researched and practiced, the more I became clear in knowing that there are paths for us to gain complete freedom. And, the freedom that many people are pursuing, in fact, is either partial or even a cage built by the self. Without the spirit being free, there is no true freedom.

My writing the family Saga in fact became a preparation for pursuing my spiritual journey. I hand wrote the “Saga” in Chinese in one sweep in 1991 as I had not learned yet to use a computer. Then, I began to learn to type, taught by my husband. I began to translate the Saga into my simple “Chinglish” (Chinese/English combo) on the computer. Because I am a slow learner at the computer (I still am), I told him to teach me “with patience, like teaching a monkey.” I was using humor to try to relieve the many troubles that I gave him. I finished the translation in 1992. When the Saga was rejected by a few publishers I put it away. To have finished the Saga caused me to feel a great relief in my heart. And my mind right away began to focus on translating the Chinese classic medicine books.

I began first with translating some information on food from the Chinese classics when I realized how much Americans needed this. Within two years, I finished twelve volumes, about the nature of foods and how to eat to follow the change of nature, including some recipes. But the few publishers I contacted did not want them either. Then I put them away, and began focusing on qigong, taiji, and Daoism, which was created not as a religion, but a philosophy, a way of life. Religious practices based on the Daoist philosophies were formed later.

I also translated writings about Buddhism of the Chinese tradition. They all emphasize elf-effort. They all believe that any person has the “bridge,” self xin (heart+mind), which can bring that person to anywhere when they put their minds to it. They all have different teachings and practices that teach how to heal, and balance the mind-body.

My continuous practice of qigong and taiji and deeper study and research on all of these topics have empowered me in my writing and translating. I can feel my heart becoming more forgiving and my qi increasing. Most of the anger in me that you may have sensed in reading this Saga has dissipated. To me, my Saga has finished its mission in my life journey. Now, I wish that the Saga could help other young people, women, and those who need uplifting. I hope my story can show that any young person or adult can go through hardships and become only stronger and wiser. It is my classic Chinese education and the qi culture that have given me the strength and refined me. And that has empowered me to grow up with a healthy spirit in a rigid communist society in China and in the Western world, which also has its many problems. I picked the title Purified and Free for the Saga and hope my readers understand my intention.

Since 1992 I have finished one book after another. You can find my books on this web site and these additional web sites: www.qi.org and at ZY Qigong at www.zyqigong.com, or at the YMAA Publication Center.

Thank you,

Yanling

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